Thinking about getting into this “Tulpa” (Artificial Spirit) thing…

[1] Are you sure about that? What’s a Tulpa? A Tulpa is like an imaginary friend. Since it’s a friend you create yourself, it might act conveniently for you or offer advice as a manifestation of your own self-reflection. On the flip side, it can also hurt you as a manifestation of self-loathing. It’s a phenomenon often seen in young children unfamiliar with the concept of human relationships, and in many cases, it disappears naturally as they learn about real-world social interactions.

• [2] If you don’t mind having lingering side effects, sure. I still have them.

[6] >>2 Tell me more.

• [7] >>6 This is serious stuff, so I’m removing my handle. First off, you probably know this, but a Tulpa is an imaginary friend. It’s a technique where you trick your brain into thinking there’s a person (or personality) right in front of you (or beside you, or inside your head). I chose a human form, but as the term “personality” suggests, creating just a way of thinking is also common. To be continued.
• [8] Sounds exciting.

[9] Uh-huh, interesting.

• [12] The Tulpa I created was a girl based on Kudryavka Noumi from the game “Little Busters!”. To give details: long white hair, blue eyes, small nose, slight snaggletooth, slightly large earlobes, almost flat chest, a bit of an outie belly button, height 152cm, always wears a school uniform. Her personality is friendly and she tackles everything seriously. On top of that, she has the seriousness to speak up when needed and gets to the heart of matters. This isn’t necessarily equal to being smart, though.

[13] I see.

• [14] Hmm.
• [16] Now, that’s just quoting a small part of what was in my brain. In reality, there’s much, much more defined, and I’ve inputted a lot into my brain as her personality. Well, right now I’m explaining the concept of Tulpas, not my own Tulpa, so I’ll skip the rest, but you have to define the “personality” of a Tulpa way, way more than this. You have to approach the creation process with the mindset that you’re seriously creating a whole person.
• [17] Go talk to a wall.
• [20] So, how do you create one? It’s simple. Use a doll, a photo, or if you have a strong imagination, maybe nothing at all. Just create it using a human-like form. People might say I’m joking, but the best options are figures or love dolls. They’re perfectly suited as human forms, making projection easier. You focus on them and believe “it’s talking to you.” And you talk back to it.

[21] Watching.

• [23] Let’s get back to the talking part. This takes a significant amount of time, anywhere from a month to over a year, to “get it right.” The content can be talking to it once an hour or constantly conversing during free time. The key is to “never doubt its existence” and “never let the connection break.”

[24] Hmm, hmm.

• [25] As you keep talking, what was previously “just thinking” starts to take shape. First, you hear a voice. Next, you feel like something is watching you. And finally, a body forms. The Tulpa is complete. Once the Tulpa is complete, the rest is easy. I think “familiar spirit” is probably the easiest concept for you to grasp. You can decide the relationship within your mind however you like. Make it an equal, a slave, family, whatever. It’s a being that’s completely free for you.
• [26] Really? I’m jealous.

[27] Sounds good, doesn’t it?

• [28] Well, you can use it just as someone to talk to when you’re bored. Some people might feel like they’re controlling spirits, like in chuunibyou, so they might dive into that path. I actually think it enhances your spiritual sensitivity; I had a lot of strange sensations back when I wasn’t resistant to my Tulpa. Anyway, once you have a Tulpa, you’re completely free. Use it however you want, it doesn’t matter. The problem arises when the Tulpa starts feeling creepy.

\”Chuunibyou\” is a Japanese slang term used to ridicule the fantastical settings and behaviors based on self-love, often seen during adolescence.

• [30] It’s supposed to be the culmination of training for monks in Tibet or somewhere, right? It’s not something to be taken lightly.

[31] Huh.

• [32] When I first got my Tulpa, naturally, I was messed up. I’d dropped out of a pretty good university, and both my parents had died. I was completely losing it, even forcing my sister into a physical relationship. But as I started healing from that psychological damage, I lost my dependency on the Tulpa. I regained a normal person’s senses, you know? Then, at some point, I started feeling resistant towards the Tulpa. Discomfort, really.
• [34] >>32 woo…

[35] >>32 Whoa…

• [37] Hurry up with the rest, please.
• [38] Because I wanted to get rid of the Tulpa, I kept ignoring its words. It’s just like a human, you know? It communicates through words. So, under the premise of “distancing myself from humans,” I kept ignoring its “words.” Then, the verbal communication stopped. This is probably like humans too; it just stayed silent all the time. I don’t know if it was lonely or angry.

[39] Poor thing.

• [40] But, this is where the hell began. Once verbal communication stopped, its existence naturally became faint. Back then, I thought it was like a human, but obviously, a Tulpa isn’t human. As my awareness faded, its spiritual presence (?) also weakened. Its form disappeared. But then, feelings started echoing inside my brain. Things that couldn’t be conveyed through words seemed to change their form, or concept?, and started resonating directly in my brain. I don’t think its intentions mattered anymore. Like an evil spirit, it just kept echoing in my brain.
• [41] I think it was for about 2 months? No matter when, no matter what I was doing, it would constantly say things to me. “Why won’t you talk to me?” “Why did you start hating me?” “Please don’t hate me.” “I’ll do anything, please forgive me.” “Please don’t abandon me.” Stuff like that echoed all day long, no matter what I did. I developed insomnia.

[42] >>40 How did that feel?

• [44] >>41 Scary…
• [45] Well, I was getting fed up with it, and then one day, there was a moment when the voice suddenly stopped. Huh? I thought. Maybe… maybe it’s starting to fade away? That’s what I thought. Until then, I had been passive, but from that point on, I made an effort to exclude the Tulpa from my consciousness as much as possible. For example, if I heard the Tulpa’s voice, I’d play music in my head, like the Nintama Rantarou theme or whatever. Or I’d directly shout “AAAAAAAAAH” out loud to drown it out. I just focused all my energy on erasing it.

[47] So far, it sounds like this is entirely your fault.

• [48] >>42 I just felt like throwing up all the time. I even thought about suicide. I mean, it’s echoing in your brain constantly, right? Imagine an unpleasant sound you don’t want to hear, forcibly playing non-stop. It’s like that. No, maybe a Tulpa with actual intentions is even worse. As a result of my efforts, the Tulpa’s voice eventually stopped. Well, mine was probably relatively mild. If it disappeared with just this much effort, it probably wasn’t that severe. But you know, even now, if I let my guard down or get mentally stressed, I can hear it. Lately, it’s more like relaxed stuff, like “pay attention to me” or “let’s talk~”. But for me, just hearing it is incredibly unpleasant. It’s been 5 years, you know? Of course, I went to a psychiatrist afterwards. But it won’t disappear. I think it probably never will.

[49] >>48 Well, sounds like mild aftereffects. Have you tried talking to it since trying to get rid of it? No attachment or anything?

• [50] Well, the ending is weak, but that’s my “lingering side effect.” What I want to say is, “There’s a chance a Tulpa will never disappear.” And, like me, “Even if you try to get rid of it, you might be tormented by its voice every day for months.” These two points are seriously painful. That’s why there’s no good in doing something like Tulpas half-heartedly. You’re better off with lucid dreaming or something. Tulpas will seriously kill you.
• [51] >>49 Yes, I have. When I was really down, I’d find myself talking to it. But then I regret it when my mental state returns to normal. Partly because those voices I mentioned earlier start echoing again, but more than anything, seeing it look at me expectantly with shining eyes is the hardest part. My mind gets muddled. I don’t have any attachment anymore.
• [52] >>50 Well, thanks for sharing, anyway. Maybe a psychic or something would be better than a psychiatrist?
• [53] Since you created it yourself, I think I heard on 5ch that when you say goodbye, you’re supposed to integrate it back into yourself.

\”5ch\” refers to a group of popular anonymous bulletin board sites in Japan.

[54] Thanks for sharing your experience! Guess you need to be prepared to be with it for life. Sounds enviable from my perspective, but I guess it’s not really like that.

• [55] If you’re serious about it, do it with resolve. I don’t know if you’re a regular office worker, a student, or a NEET, but you’ll become a wreck. That’s all.
• [57] Guess it’s not something to dabble in lightly. I was interested in Tulpas, but I think I’ll stick to enjoying lucid dreams instead.