I Had a Near-Death Experience, So I’m Going to Talk About It

[1] This might be something I experienced while hovering between life and death after a traffic accident. It felt like a dream, and it didn’t happen in reality, so you can think of it as a made-up story if you like. I’ll write it if anyone wants to read it.

• [2] Let’s hear it.

[9] >>2 I’m glad someone wants to read it (I’m happy). The accident was between a truck and a motorcycle, and I was on the motorcycle. I was trying to make a right turn at a large intersection when it came out from beside a bus. It seems it was from a blind spot. I collided head-on with a truck coming straight through the oncoming lane. I remember a brief moment of pain and a floating sensation. Then, before I knew it, I was in a completely dark place.

• [5] Did you walk through a field of flowers?

[14] >>5 Yes, I did. I’ll write about that later.

• [7] What kind of accident was it? Was it painful? How painful was it?

[15] >>7 I don’t remember the pain. However, I have a slight disability remaining in the right side of my body.

[22] It was a truly dark place. I couldn’t see or hear anything. I don’t think I even had a sense of my own body. I instinctively felt that staying there was bad, so I moved around trying to get out somehow. But I couldn’t tell if I was moving, or if I could even move at all. It was dark all around, and I couldn’t see my own body. I don’t know how long I was like that… but after what felt like a very long time, my consciousness drifted again, and I found myself looking down at myself sleeping in a hospital room.

[28] There’s no other way to describe it other than ‘before I knew it,’ but suddenly I was looking down at my sleeping self. I was completely wrapped in bandages like a mummy, and although I couldn’t tell who it was by appearance, I somehow understood it was me. My mother and father were talking about something next to the bed. I could see them, but I still couldn’t hear any sound at all. I didn’t know what they were talking about, but I understood it was about me.

[32] At that time, I think I was in a state devoid of desire. Even though I was in such a dangerous condition, and my family was talking beside me while crying, I didn’t feel anything. Even about my current situation, the only feeling that arose was something like, ‘Ah, I’m floating.’ I didn’t feel any panic or anxiety at all.

• [39] >>32 If you remember it that clearly, it was probably real.

[44] >>39 Even so, I’m starting to forget large parts of it.

• [34] Is that true? It’s not impossible that you’re believing memories you created yourself. Still, being able to forget the pain… humans are well-made creatures, aren’t they?

[35] >>34 Maybe because it was just for a moment? The rehabilitation was hell, though.

[41] I might have been able to pass through walls, but I just kept floating above myself, watching my sleeping self. Even when the ECG monitor went haywire and doctors rushed in, I think I watched on probably without batting an eye. I stayed above myself like that for about two weeks.

• [46] >>41 Were you aware of the passage of time, like the two weeks or the days? Did you know when the lights went out at night or when morning came?

[52] >>46 Because I could see the sun setting and rising.

[49] During that time, I didn’t sleep at all, nor did I feel bored. Strangely, I felt nothing. I wasn’t even surprised by that fact. If that’s what being a spirit is like, thinking back now, it would probably be boring. Then suddenly my vision blurred, and next, I was up in the sky.

[57] I realized I was above the sky because the clouds were below me. I think I was moving forward at incredible speed. However, I didn’t feel any wind pressure or anything, just flying through the sky, carried along by the flow.

[62] So, while flying in the sky, my consciousness drifted again. And when I came to, I was lying right in the middle of a vast field of flowers. That’s when sound finally returned, and the sensation of my body came back too. I remember it smelled incredibly good. They were flowers and scents I’d never seen or smelled before, but strangely, it wasn’t unpleasant. It was the kind of scent you’d want to keep smelling forever.

[67] It was only then that I realized how serious my situation was, and I became scared. I fell into a loop of thinking, ‘Where am I?’ ‘Can I go back?’ Even though I was a grown adult, I pathetically burst into tears.

[73] Crying didn’t help, so I started walking anyway. There was no path, but my body naturally started walking in a certain direction. It was then, I think, that I vaguely began to understand that this might be the afterlife. It was a truly strange place. There was no sun, yet it was bright, a cloudless sunset sky, and a field of flowers stretching endlessly. I think I probably walked for a whole day. Maybe I didn’t actually walk that long, but I’m sure I walked for a considerable amount of time. Strangely, I didn’t get tired at all and could walk without sleep or rest.

• [77] If it was a sunset sky, wouldn’t it be dark around?

[79] >>77 No, it was bright. I could see clearly.

[78] As I continued walking, I reached a river with incredibly clear water. Could this be the Sanzu River? Just as I thought that, control over my body returned to me. The river itself was clearer than anything I’d ever seen, and when I touched it with my hand, it felt quite warm. I looked around to see if anyone was there, but there wasn’t even a shadow of a person. I instinctively knew that if I crossed this, I could never go back.

The Sanzu River, in Japanese Buddhism and folk beliefs, is the river the dead are said to cross on their way to the afterlife.

• [81] Hmm.

[83] While I was wondering what to do, an unfamiliar woman was there. She was sitting right next to me, as if she’d appeared out of nowhere. Woman: ‘What are you doing?’ … ‘What do you mean, what am I doing?’ I thought in my mind, and the woman made a strange face. Woman: ‘Ah, so you haven’t died then.’ I don’t remember much of the conversation, but I didn’t say a single word. Despite that, the woman carried on the conversation as if she could hear my thoughts. ‘So, what are you going to do now?’ ‘What do you mean, what am I going to do?’ ‘Are you going back? Or not going back?’

• [84] I wonder what kind of clothes the woman was wearing.

[87] >>84 She had black hair. I can’t remember her face. Not that I don’t remember, but I couldn’t remember it. How should I put it… I couldn’t recognize her face… it was like looking through frosted glass.

[85] I want to go back, of course. ‘Then follow me.’ The woman said that and started walking downstream along the river. From there, I just silently followed behind her as she walked. I think I probably walked for about a whole day again. Then the view suddenly opened up, and we reached the edge of a sheer cliff. I remember the flower field was terrifyingly high up, and the river water was flowing down below.

• [86] They say the people you meet by the river are usually people you have a connection with. When my father was near death, he said our deceased cat and his own mother were waiting for him.

[89] >>86 Is that so? Then maybe we had some connection somewhere.

• [88] That’s quite a unique near-death experience.

[90] >>88 Even I’m not sure if it was a dream or not.

• [92] I’m reading.

[93] Looking down from that terrifyingly high place, below a certain line, everything was covered in clouds and couldn’t be seen. Woman: ‘Jump into the river, fall straight down from here, and you can go back.’ Oh, is that so, I thought. Woman: ‘Well, good luck. Try not to come back here again.’ Will I come back someday? Woman: ‘You’ll come here when you die.’ ………

[96] After that, just as the woman told me to, I jumped into the river. There was a sensation of falling for a while, and I lost consciousness around the time I passed through the clouds. When I next woke up, I was on the hospital bed, and I soiled myself from the intense pain.

[97] I don’t know if it was feces, but there was something like bodily waste in the diaper. With that unpleasant sensation and the intense pain in my body, I realized I had returned.

• [98] Interesting.
• [99] Is the intense pain something other than the pain from the fractures?

[101] >>99 No, how should I put it… Maybe because I hadn’t felt pain for a while, it felt exceptionally painful.

[100] From then on, it was rehabilitation. I’d been bedridden for about a month, so my muscles had wasted away. They said my internal organs had shifted position or something, so even sitting up was a struggle. It was three weeks after that before I could stand properly.

[102] Well, I recovered safely, but I was left with a slight impairment making it difficult to move the right side of my body, and now I’m working part-time. That’s all for my near-death experience. Are there any questions?

• [105] Like the neurosurgeon Dr. Eben Alexander https://www.google.com/search?/エベン・アレグザンダー, there are cases where strangers met during NDEs turn out to be blood relatives.

[110] >>105 Maybe she was a distant relative.

• [106] Is the hemiplegia from internal organ damage? Was your spinal cord okay?

[111] >>106 I received an explanation about nerves being affected or something, but I lack the knowledge to understand it. As for internal organs, about half of my intestines were lost.

• [115] >>111 Losing half your intestines, that’s a terrible accident.

[116] >>115 Being alive is enough. Apparently, fragments from the motorcycle pierced me.

• [108] The story about the cliff reminds me of Black Jack.

[112] >>108 It really was an incredible cliff.

• [109] Do you usually have any psychic abilities or anything?

[113] >>109 None at all.

• [117] I haven’t had an NDE, but I sometimes interact with deceased family members in dreams. I can’t hear their voices unless they grab hold of some part of my body. And during that time, I can’t utter a single word myself.

[118] >>117 So things like that really do happen, huh?

• [120] When I was 19, I had an experience during meditation involving strange bodily movements and strong psychological shock. Although I was left with disabilities, I was able to recover fatefully, which I feel was more like guidance from my ancestors than fate.

[122] >>120 Was my experience also guidance… No, perhaps it could be called guidance.

• [125] Did the woman walk normally? Or did she glide while standing?

[129] >>125 She walked normally.

• [127] Did your view on life and death change?

[130] >>127 It changed. When I think that’s what happens when you die, well… it’s hard to put into words.