I’ve Been Living with an Oni for 4 Years

A mysterious post appeared on a certain message board. This is the record of strange dialogues that began with a high school student’s confession of being possessed by an oni.

I’m possessed by an oni, any questions? I’ll answer within the limits of not being identified.

• Is it tough during Setsubun?

It claims to be a strong oni, so those things don’t affect it.

In Japan, Setsubun is held around February 3rd, when people throw beans to drive away oni, saying “Oni out, good fortune in.”

• How did you find out?

It appeared in my dreams and told me it was an oni. After that, I could talk to it normally even when I was awake.

• Is it red? Or blue?

Traditional Japanese oni images often have red or blue skin.

I can only see its form in dreams, but imagine a girl with horns. Not your typical oni appearance.

• Have you gained anything from having an oni?

It apparently lives by eating emotions, so I don’t get angry at people as much anymore. Other than that, I’m never bored. Since it’s always there, though, we’ve run out of things to talk about.

• Emotions like specifically anger or happiness – does it matter? Why don’t you get angry much anymore? Is this oni-girl cute?

Oni have their preferences, and my oni apparently likes anger. Says it’s nicely spicy. I probably don’t get angry because it eats my anger. I start to get angry but quickly stop caring. The oni is cute, like a prettied-up Japanese doll.

Japanese dolls are traditional craft items with elaborate designs and a unique atmosphere.

• A cute Japanese oni-girl, huh? (laughs) I’d like to see her, but also scared… hope she’s like a zashiki-warashi

Zashiki-warashi are child-like spirits in Japanese folklore that bring good fortune to the house they inhabit.

Well, there’s hardly any trouble, so it should be fine

• Can that oni lift a 1-ton rock?

It has no physical form, so I don’t know. It (?) says if it had a physical form, it definitely could.

• Why were you possessed?

Probably because I opened a box-like thing inside something like a shrine near my grandfather’s house on a mountain. Unlike typical scary stories, it didn’t say “You opened that!” My oni says, “I was coincidentally nearby and possessed you. I wasn’t sealed away or anything.”

In Japanese ghost stories and urban legends, disasters occurring after opening sealed objects is a common trope.

• Sorry for all the questions, but was there nothing inside the shrine box?

I thought there would be something inside like in scary stories, but it was empty.

• What are the thread starter’s specs?

“Specs” is internet slang referring to a person’s attributes like age, gender, education, and occupation.

Well, to put my specs simply: a male high school student who finished national university entrance exams and has free time. Rather short in height. That’s about it, for specs.

• What can the oni do?

Not much besides eating emotions. Come to think of it, it’s pretty useless. As I write this, it’s getting angry.

• You understood its language well. Usually, communication is difficult.

It spoke Japanese from the beginning. “Someone at my level can easily adapt to your language!” it says.

• No, I mean they usually speak in old-fashioned, accented language that’s hard to understand. That’s the case for most of them. I can rarely understand them. Does this oni have any physical features?

Speaking in old Japanese or dialects is a common characteristic of yokai and spirits in Japanese ghost stories and fiction.

Oh, I see what you mean. It only has horns growing from its head. “Don’t compare me to weaklings whose bodies differ from humans,” it says.

• I want to talk to the oni-girl

That’s fine, but I’m the one typing after all

• Does the oni have sexual desires?

Apparently not. It says that’s because it became an oni after being killed before puberty. It doesn’t know about other oni.

This is the first mention of how Aoi Doji died when she was human.

• So it was human originally. I’m a bit worried that eating anger might turn you into a proper? oni eventually. I hope it can find peace someday

“Eating too much anger just makes me fat,” it says.

• Can you see the oni with your eyes? Where is the oni? Inside your mind? Right there? What’s the oni’s purpose in possessing the thread starter?

I can only see it in dreams. It says it lives in my mind. Its purpose: it won’t die without emotions but would become immobile, so it wants to avoid running out. It can get emotions from worship too, but only deities can do that, and it doesn’t want to get them from deities. So it possessed me because our wavelengths matched.

Here, part of the oni world is revealed, with references to the relationship between oni and gods.

• Is it Nube?

“Nube” refers to “Jigoku Sensei Nube,” a popular 1990s manga about a teacher with spiritual powers who fights supernatural phenomena at school.

• Namudaijidaihikyugukyunankodareicanbyakuekanzeonbosatsu?? What are the words that follow this?

This is part of a Buddhist mantra called “Byakue Kannon Kyo” that also appears in “Nube.”

I looked it up, and it seems it’s from Nube. So it’s the White-Robed Kannon Sutra. I didn’t know that.

• Is this a Nube thread?
• I have something similar at my house, but what does the other side think about salt being sprinkled or sake being used? What do they think about humans trying to drive them out?

Salt and sake are traditional purification tools in Japan, used to ward off evil spirits and impurities.

The thread has turned into a Nube thread (laugh) that makes me happy (laugh) “Some like alcohol and some hate it. Since alcohol is sometimes used to summon those who like it, maybe you shouldn’t use sake? Salt works. But sprinkle it with feeling.” My oni hates alcohol, so I’ll probably never drink in my life.

• What’s the oni’s name? Also ask about the age when it was killed, why it was killed, and how it became an oni after death

Here, participants begin to show interest in the oni’s past and ask more specific questions.

I’ll answer in order. Aoi Doji. I don’t know why a girl is called ‘doji’. Before she turned 10. She was killed as a sacrifice to a god. She says she just became one. That’s what she says.

“Doji” is a traditional Japanese concept referring to young servants of gods and Buddhas.

• If you know her name before she died, please tell us, and was the reason for possession just to eat emotions? How many people has she consumed so far?

She doesn’t remember. Emotions are part of it, but being alone is apparently boring. She doesn’t remember. It’s like asking how many slices of bread you’ve eaten.

• Just got here. What was in the box?

Despite having talismans on it, the box was empty. I threw the box away. It was filthy.

• What a waste. So it wasn’t that old? What was written on the talismans?

It looked old, but it was really dirty. I didn’t want to touch it. There was something written on the talismans. I had expectations because of that, but it was empty.

“Talismans” refer to sacred papers used in shrines, believed to have magical powers. They’re typically used for warding off evil or for sealing.

• What does the oni say about the box? If she wasn’t sealed, what were those talismans for?

“If an oni is weak enough to be sealed by humans, they probably disappeared after being sealed for years,” she says. Apparently weak oni vanish when they run out of emotions. Strong ones just become immobile.

The story deepens, revealing information about oni hierarchies and survival conditions.

• I don’t know much about oni, so I can’t think of questions. Have you ever met Enma-sama?

Enma-sama is the Buddhist judge of the underworld who judges the sins of the dead.

“No. I might have met him, but I don’t remember,” she says.

• So you can’t freely go to the afterlife. Why are you in this world?

“I don’t know if there’s an afterlife, but there is an oni world. There’s nothing there, so I rarely go. Why am I here? For emotions, of course. Also, it’s more interesting to be with humans.” That’s what she says.

• Isn’t the oni world hell? Aren’t there dead humans there? If they don’t become oni, do their souls vanish?

“No. The oni world is different from hell. The oni world is truly a place with nothing. I don’t know if hell exists, but if it does, deity Enma is probably running it to get fear. Fear is also an emotion. I don’t know about dead humans besides some becoming oni.” That’s what she says.

In this worldview, unlike traditional Buddhist afterlife concepts, a unique setting with “oni” as emotion-eating entities is created.

• Can I sell my soul to an oni and become one?

Seems like you can. She’s already declared I’ll become an oni when I die.

• Can I become an oni while still alive?

“Probably not,” she says. Also, be careful because if you kill someone and die, you become a lower-ranking oni. Suicide is also not good.

• You don’t know anything!

I understand what you want to say, but if someone asked you “What’s the purpose of the human world?” you couldn’t answer either.

The roles of questioner and answerer are momentarily reversed, with the thread starter making a calm counterargument.

• How long have you been possessed?

About 4 years

• What do you mean the oni world has nothing? Is it like subspace? Does it at least have ground, sky, and water? Does eating mean consuming all of an individual’s emotions? What can strong oni do?

By nothing, I mean (there’s nothing interesting). Deities are usually in the oni world, so think of it as an abandoned town. “I can consume all of an individual’s emotions, but killing to create new emotions is what lower ranks do. So I just take a little.” Strong oni can eat weak oni. So curses don’t affect me, she says.

• Ask Aoi-chan about the advantages and disadvantages of possessing you.

Here for the first time, the oni’s name “Aoi Doji” is affectionately called “Aoi-chan.”

Advantages: She stabilizes my emotions. Prevents boredom. Shares taste and can experience flavors. Disadvantage: She’ll turn me into an oni. That’s what she says.

The “disadvantage” part is important, suggesting for the first time that the thread starter himself will become an oni in the future.

• You should adjust your terminology to generally understandable definitions. Speaking only in your own definitions creates friction. If you say “Buddha and Christ are oni because the self-proclaimed oni possessing me says so—oni, oni, oni!” things get problematic. Just call it a spirit. By the way, in my tradition, oni refers to living people who have fallen and transformed. There are many oni without horns in this world.

Here, a participant offers a different perspective on the definition of “oni,” and the discussion develops into interpretations of folk beliefs and spiritual concepts.

I don’t have any spiritual sensitivity or specialized knowledge, so I only know what Aoi-chan has told me. Also, it’s troublesome to use different names for the same being, and I can only sense Aoi-chan, and she has horns, so “oni” feels right to me. Sorry if it’s confusing.

• Haven’t you become duller to emotions—joy, sadness, human emotions—since 4 years ago or even now?

I haven’t felt that way myself. If anything, life has become more enjoyable.

• It eats emotions, which means it’s using/manipulating your spirit (personality and thoughts) in a sense. If eating joy is for lower ranks, doesn’t that mean there are many such oni? So many people in the world have their joy eaten. When joy is eaten, doesn’t that accumulate negative emotions and increase the number of bad people?

This question deeply contemplates the impact of oni existence on human society as a whole.

She says there are many lower ranks. But unless you’re possessed, you don’t get eaten much. She says most people who commit suicide are possessed.

• I see, just as I thought
• Does Aoi-chan intend to possess anyone else besides you? Is it a lovey-dovey situation?

Apparently, humans with matching wavelengths are extremely rare, so even if she wanted to possess someone else, she couldn’t have conversations and would hate it.

• What will you do after you die? Will you possess someone?

I’ll think about that when I die (laughs)

• After death, can you live quietly with Aoi-chan?

If I become a deity’s pet in the oni world, that would work, she says.

• Ask Aoi-chan if she regrets becoming an oni

“I don’t remember much from when I was human. No regrets,” she says

• Among oni, how many of what we generally call spirits, yokai, fairies, elemental spirits, angels, and various gods actually exist or have been seen or heard of by Aoi-san?

“Most beings humans know about exist. In fact, some oni are created by human thoughts. Recently, there’s Kunekune. It seems it was known by only a few, but judging from its fame, it probably has been born as an oni already.” That’s what she’s saying.

“Kunekune” is a modern urban legend that spread on the Japanese internet, about a thin, eerie being watching from a distance.

• So basically what humans imagine exists in their minds. Like a belief. Thanks for your previous response
• How many people are aware they’re possessed by oni?

“Hmm, you can tell by the atmosphere if you’re possessed, but I don’t know how many realize it,” she says. But I think there must be quite a few.

• It seems closer to a divine spirit, heroic spirit, or elemental spirit than a ghost. By the way, what are the horns for?

“Horns are individuality!” she says. She probably doesn’t know why they grow.

• Would you come to my house too?

“You can sometimes contract through spiritual séances. If you make a mistake… Well, I don’t recommend it,” she says.

Spiritual séances are rituals to call forth spirits or supernatural beings, with various methods discussed in Japanese occult culture.

• Please teach me, Aoi-san

“If you really want to do it, you should ask a specialist. Many procedures are complicated or like secret arts. A simple one is Hitori Kakurenbo (playing hide-and-seek alone). That sometimes succeeds in summoning. But I don’t know how to force possession. If you get along with an oni, it might possess you.” That’s what she says. “With Hitori Kakurenbo, someone with as weak a wavelength as this guy (me) would have a really hard time meeting one with a decent appearance. I think the séance itself succeeds about 1% of the time, regardless of whether you can see it or not,” she says.

“Hitori Kakurenbo” is a spirit-summoning game played alone using a doll, which spread as a dangerous ritual in Japanese urban legends.

• If killed by a lower oni, do you not become an oni? Also, according to Bakemonogatari theory, you’re getting closer to being an oni. Getting used to an oni means becoming one

“Bakemonogatari” is a popular anime where humans possessed by apparitions gradually take on their characteristics.

I haven’t watched Bakemonogatari. Oni don’t kill directly. Either the possessed person kills, or they become depressed and commit suicide. In the latter case, they become an oni. In the former case, it depends on the circumstances.

• Is it okay to attack an oni that’s causing harm? Are there any problems with defeating them? Is purification or exorcism recommended? Assuming one can do these things, of course

“No problem. Basically, harmful beings should be killed,” she says.

• Thank you! Very educational!
• I think oni were originally messengers of gods, like spirits. But there must be hierarchies. They say kappa developed from water corpses, “dosaburo,” becoming urban legends and evolving into kappa, but do kappa also exist as oni now? And Kunekune exists?! Scary! Does Kunekune have abilities as described in urban legends? Or is it just an existence? Does it eat people’s emotions like oni?

Kappa are Japanese yokai that live near water, characterized by a plate-like depression on their heads. Dosaburo is an old term for water corpses.

“Kunekune probably has the exact abilities as described. Being lower-ranked, it probably eats too much of the viewer’s emotions → the victim’s mind breaks down trying to preserve itself,” she says.

• Oni are the end result of humans driven mad by obsession. They’re not messengers of gods. There were also times when foreigners or defiant people were called oni

“Defiant people” refers to a historical expression for people in ancient Japan who didn’t obey the central government.

• I want to ask you, if the oni appeared suddenly that’s one thing, but is it coming from a shrine that worships oni? You mention a “moe” oni, but isn’t that a celestial imp (amanojaku) rather than an oni? That’s the feeling I got. Do you know there are various types of oni? Including ones without fangs or horns, in human form. Or warriors enshrined who became oni, or shrines built by samurai for good harvests as imaginary faith. Oni have many varieties.

Amanojaku is a contrary demon in Japanese folklore characterized by doing the opposite of what people tell it to do.

First, I don’t know what was enshrined at the shrine where I encountered it. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s not an oni since I’ve never seen any other oni. I have heard there are many types of oni.

• That’s an animal spirit. A fox or tanuki disguised as an oni. Probably a tanuki. I’m not trying to be mean, but if you leave it alone, it could get dangerous. Your life could be at risk.

Foxes and tanuki are animals in Japanese folklore believed to have the ability to shapeshift and trick humans. Particularly, old foxes are said to possess and control people.

Life-threatening is scary. But unless someone teaches me how, there’s nothing I can do.

• I wonder what Aoi-chan thinks about being called an animal spirit. If someone with spiritual powers were actually in front of the thread starter, they’d probably know

Aoi-chan is super angry (laugh) That’s funny (laugh)

The story takes an unexpected turn as a new theory about the oni’s identity is presented, angering Aoi-doji.

Here’s Aoi-chan’s angry voice (laugh): “What’s with these people! Saying I’m the same as those lower ranks! Don’t take this too far!” “Hey, delete this immediately! Don’t get involved with such frauds!” I’m giving her Jagariko to calm her down rather than deleting this (laugh)

“Jagariko” is a popular Japanese snack. The thread starter seems to be calming down the angry Aoi with snacks.

• Aoi-chan is cute

The ironic conclusion where an oni, supposedly a frightening entity, becomes popular as the lovable “Aoi-chan.” Throughout this exchange, we see how a fearsome being transforms into an affectionate character through daily interactions with humans.